Not So New Year Resolutions
by Lyflyn
Summary: Bella, Alice, and Rosalie decide to change. So they make goals to complete before the year is out. Dare Jar's, kissing strangers, pickup lines and parachutes, quitting jobs, and maybe finding love, it is sure to be a fun time. AH
1. Resolutions and Rules

**AN: Hey yall this is my first fan-fiction and I hope you like it. Please review! Thanks, Lyflyn.**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. I do not own Twilight. I only wish I did.**

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Rosalie slammed her hands on the coffee table startling Alice and I, "What are we doing girls?"

"Well Rose, I thought we were watching a movie," Alice sarcastically replied.

"Exactly! What happened to us? It is Friday night, we are young and hot. So why are we sitting around here? Why aren't we out somewhere?"

"Because we are tired?," I weakly suggested.

Rosalie turned one of her icy glares on me. "Come on Bella, we stay in every night. When did we become boring?" _Man, she's on a mission. _

"I don't think we are boring." I told her.

"Yeah right Bella, when was the last time you went out? Hmm? When we were in collage we went out all the time."

"We are older now. Not as much time for partying."

"We are twenty-four Bella. That is not old. And I'm not saying we have to party hard, just have fun." _Maybe we are boring. _Seeing the defeat in my eyes she smiled.

Alice, who had been quietly watching this whole spectacle, spoke up, "Okay Rose you are right we are boring. The question is: what are we going to about it?"

"Well if we are trying to change ourselves maybe we can make New Years Resolutions," I suggested.

"Bella, come on it's October"

"No Rose," I explained, "It would be like New Years Resolutions except with less time. We make the goals but we only have to have until the end of the year to complete them. Or at the very least begin them."

Alice started bouncing, "I like it. They can be our Not-So-New Year Resolutions," she grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, "Okay, if we want to change we should keep basic goals. Work on the most important aspects of our life."

"Which are…?" Rose drawled.

"Our jobs," I said. When they looked at me curiously I elaborated, "All of our current jobs suck. I mean Rose your boss is a pig, and Alice like you really want to work in that department store forever? Didn't you want to be a fashion designer? And I know I don't want to work as a secretary forever. So our resolution should be that we quit our jobs this year and work on our dream careers."

"Good idea Bella. You know what else we need to spice up our life? Men. We can make one of our goals falling in love," _Yeah right like these two need to make falling in love a goal. They have guys tripping over themselves all the time._

"Your turn Alice. You think of a resolution," I ordered.

"Well, we have work, and love. We need something to increase our spontaneity. Something fun that would give us great memories, and great stories to tell," She was quiet for a minute when her face lit up. "I know! We will make a Dare Jar."

_Okay now I'm afraid _"Alice what exactly is a Dare Jar?" I hesitantly asked.

"Well," she started, "It is a jar that we will contribute dare ideas to. We will take turns drawing out of it, one week I will draw, the next Rose, and so on. And whatever it says on the piece of paper that is what we have to do. It can help take us out of our comfort zone and have fun."

"What kind of dares?," I inquired.

"I don't know, something like flash a cop."

Rosalie started laughing, "You've already done that one Alice. Poor Charlie couldn't look at you for weeks. But I like the idea."

"Well we need rules," I stated, "Like no committing major crimes."

"Yeah, and we all have to approve of any potential love interests," Rosalie said, "Otherwise Bella will end up with a nerd."

"Hey," I defended myself, "Not all of those guys were bad. We can't all be beautiful." Rosalie with her long corn silk tresses and legs that go on forever. And Alice with her style and petite beauty. I often wondered why they were even friends with plain ole me.

"Come on Bella, your gorgeous. How many times do we have to tell you?" Alice asked.

"Whatever," I sighed, "Lets just finish the rules." After we finished deciding the rules, Alice hung the paper on the refrigerator.

**Not-So-New Year Resolutions**

1) Quit our dead-end jobs and get started on our dream careers.

2) Fall in love.

3)Make memories with the Dare Jar.

**Rules:**

1) No committing major crimes.

2) Potential loves must be approved by the others.

3) All dares have to be completed with all three of us in attendance.

4) All dare will be drawn outside of the apartment.

5) You must be a good sport about all dares.

"That's it," Rosalie said proudly, "Now we just have to make our dares."

"I've already got mine!" Alice exclaimed wave some slips of paper over her head, "Remember, write four of them and put them in the jar. We begin tomorrow night. We decided on Midnight Sun as our meeting place, right?" She smiled when we both nodded, "Okay then, goodnight Bella, goodnight Rose."

Rose and I wrote our dares, put them in the jar, and headed off to bed. _I wonder what tomorrow will bring._

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**Thanks for reading yall! Hope you liked it!**

**~Lyflyn~**


	2. 1st Dares and Kisses

**Okay guys sorry for not updating quickly but I'm kind of in the process of moving. And it's the new semester so I had to take care of my duel credit class. Anatomy and Physiology-_fun!_ Anyway I will try to update faster I have already started chapter 3 so it shouldn't take too long. But I want to thank my reviewers Princess Eclpise, tiggerlover1971, and waiting for a miracle. This chapter is for you guys!**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. If I was I would keep Jacob for myself and rent the rest of the Cullens out to fangirls. **

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"Bella, you should draw first," We were sitting at our favorite club Midnight Sun. It was owned by one of our friends from college, Angela. Rosalie and her shared dorms and we would still be living together if she hadn't moved in with Ben, her fiancée. I usually loved it here because we always got free drinks but not tonight because Alice was trying to convince me to draw the first dare. "Come on Bella, you are the one who needs to loosen up the most."

"Hey!" I whined. She raised an eyebrow at me for whining. _Well that was mean. _"Are you even giving me a choice?" She shook her head.I sighed. _Alice always gets her way. _I looked around trying to put off the inevitable. "What about you Rosalie? You were the one who wanted to change."

Rosalie was getting impatient. "Bella, draw the damn dare before I draw for you!"

"Fine," I sighed. I reached into the jar, which wasn't actually a jar but a cute little drawstring bag. I was praying I would get an easy dare. I opened the slip. _No such luck._ I just have to be taken out of my comfort zone. My face darkened as I read the dare aloud, "Walk up to a complete stranger and make out with them for one whole minute." I looked up. Alice and Rose were beaming.

Alice squealed, "Ooh, I wrote that one!" She was bouncing up and down clearly ecstatic that it was me who got that dare. "We will pick the guy for you Bells." After searching the entire club for a suitable "kiss and run" they found my target.

"Okay Bells," Rosalie leaned in to the table subtly pointing at the bar, "At the bar he is sitting to the right of Mike. He is perfect because he is hot and it will hopefully get Mike off your back." Her and Alice looked very pleased with themselves. "And after you kiss him we will leave so he will have to work if he wants to see you again." We had made it a rule that if anyone was really interested in us as a result of the dares Angela would tell them that we would be back the same time the next week. She agreed that she would divulge nothing about the dare jar or resolutions, just when we would be back.

"Alright," I downed a shot and stood up, "Here goes nothing." I walked to the bar. I found myself becoming more nervous. He was really handsome even when all I could see was his back. He had bronze hair which was unusual, I had never seen the color shine so much. He almost glowed. I was a second away from backing out when I reached him. Summoning all my courage I tapped him on the shoulder. He swung around in his seat. _Damn, of course he has to be the sexiest guy here._ He had beautiful green eyes that shone. He was a little pale but so was I. He was about to open his mouth to say something but I crushed my lips to his. _W-O-W. _Best kiss of my life. He was shocked obviously but returned the kiss with fervor. I was vaugly aware of Mike hmf-ing and stomping off. My hand reached up to his beautiful bronze locks and tangled themselves their. It was a passionate kiss. It probably held more passion than all of my previous relationships. I was lost in his hair, his scent, and most importantly his lips. I became aware that the time was up, and I did one of the hardest things I've ever done. I pulled away. I let my thoughts catch up to me. _He probably thinks I'm a whore. Geez best kiss ever and I don't even know his name. _I was embarrassed and ashamed so I turned, and calmly as I could, walked away. Alice and Rosalie met me at the entrance and we hightailed it out of there.

"Wow Bella, that was hot." Rosalie complimented me. "You had that boy drooling then you walked off. I'm so proud." She sniffed dramatically and wiped away a fake tear.

"Yeah Bells, you'll definitely be seeing him again." Alice promised as she drove us home.

"Yeah right Ali," I couldn't get my hopes up.

"No, I know these things," she said wisely. "This is not the last time we will see him."

_Never bet against Alice. _

EPOV

I was sitting in a club called Midnight Sun waiting for my drinks. My brothers, Emmett and Jasper, were finaly able to get me to go out. Emmett has been trying to get me to go out for weeks but with all of my shifts at the hospital I have been to tired to do anything. But I finally have some time off and I am spending the first night I have off in a club. Emmett told me to get our drinks because, "You need to meet some chicks, Eddie. Plus you owe us back-drinks for all of the times you weren't here." _I swear, he is like a kid. Logic of a five-year-old._ I smiled though. I loved my brothers even if they were goofs. I was lost in thought when I someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around thing it was Emmett or Jasper. Instead, my eyes met beautiful brown doe-eyes. This girl was gorgeous. She had chestnut colored hair and was pale with a beautiful blush gracing her cheeks. I was about to introduce myself when she kissed me. And what a kiss. Her hand snaked up to my hair. I couldn't help but feel drawn to her so I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her back with all the passion I had in me. After a lifetime and no-time at all she pulled back. I never wanted it to end. I was very dazed from such a heated kiss and it took a few moments for me to snap back to reality. But when I did, she was gone. The bartender, a woman about my age, was smirking.

"You look dazed," she said sweetly. "Wanna know who that was?" I nodded eagerly. "That was Bella _and_ if you come back next week same time you'll see her again." Then she walked off chuckling quietly.

_Bella._

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**Liked it? No? Review pwety, pwety pwease? **

**Sneak peak to next chapter:** **_Blondes and Pickup Lines_**

**_??? smiled and said, "Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way."_**

**~~~Lyflyn~~~**


	3. Authors Note

Hey y'all! I'm sorry if you got an alert and it wasn't a chapter. I am currently moving (sucks) and I'm sick (double sucks) and I don't have internet (triple sucks). So for now I can't update. We are _supposed _to get internet this Friday (Feb. 6th, 2009) and I will put the next chapter on then. I will be writing all this week so you will at the very least get chapters 3 and 4 this weekend. Anyway, sorry for the wait and thank y'all so much for the reviews! Love y'all! ~~~Lyflyn~~~


	4. Blondes and Pickup Lines

**Authors Note: Sorry you guys. I know I promised on Friday but I couldn't. We did get internet, but I had to wait for them to drill through the wall so it could be hooked up to my room which they only just now did. And before that there was only one computer in the house with internet and it was my sisters. And if I had tried to get on her computer, I wouldn't be alive to post more. These past two weeks have been crazy. I have moved, been sick, been visiting colleges, we started dissecting in Anatomy, and I just found out that I may have to have my tonsils out because of their size. And that scares the bejeezums out of me because it is supposed to be worse the older you are. Anyway I do not have all of chapter four written, but it shouldn't take long. I can see it up by at the latest Tuesday. Anyway, sorry this author note is so long but I just had to explain things. **

**THANK ALL OF YOU FOR THE REVIEWS YOU HAVE GIVEN ME!!!**

Disclaimer: Not Stephanie Meyer. Don't own Any of her books or her characters. If I did I would keep Jacob for myself and rent Edward and the rest out to my reviewers. :P

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BPOV

"No Alice! Can't we go somewhere else? Not Midnight Sun"

I didn't want to go back to Midnight Sun. It had been a week since my dare, which I secretly refer to as _the best kiss of my life_. I was excited to see what Alice had to do but I didn't want to accidentally run into the bronze haired guy I had kissed. There is _no _way he would be interested in me and, if by chance, he is there I don't want to be embarrassed.

Rosalie walked in putting on her earrings, "What Bella, don't you want to see the guy that gave you _the best kiss of your life_?"

I turned red, "What are you talking about Rosalie?"

Alice snorted, "Come on Bella, you aren't exactly quiet at night. You've been on and on about that kiss all week. To be honest I might kiss him just to see what all the hype is about."

"Well Alice, maybe you'll get your chance. It is your dare tonight and we need to get going now. And Bella, no crying pleading or begging will help you out of this. We are going to Midnight Sun. We are going to watch our friend humiliate herself. And we are going to have fun, dammit. So get your tush in the car missy, before I _make _you get in the car."

Needless to say I got in the car. Rule one I learned with my friends: Don't mess with Rose.

APOV (At the club)

I'm so excited. I mean Bella got a great dare last week, even if she couldn't appreciate it. I mean, he is a great love candidate for her. Maybe I can play a little matchmaking game. If he is here I will take it as a sign.

"Okay Ali, time to draw." Rosalie held the bag out to me.

I closed my eyes and felt around for the dare that called to me. When I found it I pulled it out and read it out loud.

"Go up to a hot guy and use ten of the worst pickup lines you have heard on him. You must say ALL ten to him or the attempt is void." Bella and Rosalie started laughing.

Rosalie gasping for breath said, "Sorry Ali, your just so high maintenance that it is hard to see you doing that. I wrote that dare by the way. And Bella and I already found the perfect guy for you to use it on."

Bella smiled, "Yep, he is at the bar. Blonde and I saw his eyes when I got our drinks. They're blue."

"Yep right out of your _dreams_."

The girls always make fun of me about my feelings and dreams. I believe I'm psychic and so do they. They just choose to make jokes about it. It is no secret who my dream guy is. I have dreamt of him for years. Never a definitive face but always blonde hair and blue eyes. So I always date blondes.

"Alright, here goes." I get up and walk to the bar. _What pickup lines can I choose? _I smile. _This is going to be fun. It will show them too. I'm not high maintenance. Well, maybe a little, but I can do this. _

I walk up behind the victim and say, "Did it hurt?"

He turns around with a confused look on his face. _His absolutely gorgeous face with eyes that I dream about. Shit, is this my dream guy. And I am about to make a complete ass out of myself. Great. Oh his luscious lips are moving. Why are they moving. Oh! He is talking._

"Did what hurt, ma'am?" _Oh listen to that accent. Definitely southern. Yum. _

"Um, when you fell from heaven?" I say in a small voice.

I sneak a glance over to our table Rosalie is laughing and Bella is snapping pictures. _Such great friends._

"Excuse me?" He has a smile but he seems confused.

"Are you a parking ticket?" My face is red. All I can do now is finish this dare and crawl home to die of shame.

"What?" he asks.

"Because you got fine written all over you." I look over to Bella and Rose, willing them to burst into flames for choosing my dream guy for this. Seriously, anyone else would've been fine.

"I am blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons." He smiles. _Huh._

"Umm…Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!"

"Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here." _He is playing along. _

This suddenly got more fun. I gave a wide smile, "Your body is a wonderland and I am Alice." **(LOL. That one cracked me up. I love puns.) **

"Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see." We were both laughing now.

I look over to Bella and Rosalie. They look confused. I smirk, _let them try to figure this out._

"You must be Jamaican, cause Jamaican me crazy." _Wow, these are cheesy. Oh well, as long as he is okay with them._

He smiled and said, " Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way all night."

I almost doubled over laughing at that one. First of all he did not seem like a guy that would say pickup lines. And with his southern drawl that was hilarious.

Nevertheless I countered with, "If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!"

"Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you." He looked over at some tables, presumably his friends. _Oh no! I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend. But why would he play along if he did?_

I put on a really innocent face and said, "Can I take a picture of you?" I held up my phone. "I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas."

He laughed out loud. _What a great laugh. _"It's not Christmas yet, but Santa's lap is always ready." He patted his lap. Smirking thinking he had me.

I surprised him by jumping into his lap putting my arms around his neck and saying, "Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day long."

His face is shocked for less than a second when he smiles, and puts his arms around my waist. He leans in really close and whispers, "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

I keep a straight face and put my lips inches from his and say, " I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away."

He seems a little dazed and is quiet for a second. Then he smiles and says, "I'm a thief and I am here to steal your heart."

I finish with, "I can see the future, it is you giving me your phone number." Then I give him a kiss on the cheek and hop down.

He laughs, sticks out his hand, and says, "My name is Jasper."

I give him my hand, "I already told you mine. I'm Alice." He smiles and takes my hand, brings it up to his lips and gently kisses it.

"Would you like to meet my friends? You can explain why I took so long to get their drinks."

"Oh, sure." He still hasn't released my hand and he leads me over to a table. I take a backwards glance at Bella and Rosalie. Bella looks shocked, but Rosalie is applauding. _Pervert. _All she sees is him leading me off.

We approach a table. There is a huge, muscled, body-builder-type guy sitting on one side. And, surprisingly, Bella's dare on the other side.

Jasper introduces me, "Guys, this is Alice. Alice this is Emmett." He points to the body-builder. "And Edward." Pointing to Bella's dare.

The body-builder Emmett seems mad, "Man, when do I get the hot girl? Last week we come here and Eddie, the recluse, gets a hot make out session. And this week Jasper, the shy-guy, gets a hot girl to sit in his lap. What about me."

I start laughing, but then I get and idea, "Hey Emmett, you want to meet a hot girl?" He nods. "Well, then come by here next week around this time, and I will make sure you meet a hot girl. Her name is Rose. You can meet Bella too."

Edward perks up, "Bella?"

I smirk. _He must like her or else he wouldn't have asked Ang for Bella's name._ "Yep, the mystery kisser."

I decided now was the perfect time to play matchmaking.

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**Later when they get home.**

"Alright Alice, spill" Rosalie demanded.

"I just met his friends. He is really sweet guys."

"You were over there the entire night Alice. There has to be something else to tell." Bella reasoned.

"Nope, nothing. Just a couple of sweet gorgeous guys." I sighed and stood up. "Well, night girls."

_Next week is going to be fun._

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**Uh oh. What is Alice up to?**

**Thanks for reading. Please Review, it encourages me.**

**_SNEAK PEAK OF CHAPTER FOUR_**

**_"I have to get MARRIED?!?"_**

**_~~~Lyflyn~~~_**


	5. MARRIED?

**Hey ya'll! Phew *wipes forehead* I wrote all of this in like an hour. Longest chapter yet, and probably my favorite. Anyway I love you guys for reviewing! Seriously it makes my day. Love ya'll!**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight or any of the characters. If I did Jacob would imprint on me, and Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle would go to my reviewers._**

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RPOV

"Come on girlies! Let's go. Let's go. Let's go." I sang.

I knew I was just a little too perky, but who cares? Today is my day. My dare. My turn to meet a hot guy. I was pretty jealous of Alice and Bella, they both met smoking hot guys at the club during their dares, I want a hot guy too.

"Come on, you lazy bums. We are going to be late if you don't hurry."

Alice walked into the room. "We are ready Rose. Calm down."

"Well, excuse me for being excited, but just look at the track record. Bella has the first dare, and she ends up making out with Mr. Sexy-Bronze-Hair. You have the second dare and you end up in Mr. Southern-Drawl's lap. I want a sexy dare-man." I pouted.

"Okay Rosie." Bella said while pulling on her flats, "We are going right now."

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**At the club**

"You know Rose, not all of the dares have to do with guys. I only wrote one that had to do with a stranger." Bella pointed out.

_I swear if she just jinxed me I will find Mr. Sexy-Bronze-Hair, and tell him she talks about him in her sleep. _

Before I had a chance to reply to that Alice shoved the bag in my face and said, "Okay Rosalie, it's time, the moment of truth, draw your dare."

I pulled out one of the small slips of paper. It was written in Bella's messy scrawl. My eyes scanned the slip of paper.

"I have to get MARRIED?!?" I screeched.

Bella started laughing and Alice looked shocked. "What?" she asked.

"Okay I wrote that one." Bella said, still giggling, "But it isn't what you think. It is a fake wedding. That is my stranger-dare. You have to go up to a guy of Alice and my choosing, and fake propose to him. If he accepts, we can have a whole fake wedding."

Alice got a scheming glint in her eye, "Good dare Bella, and I know just who to pick."

_Why had I been excited about this again?_

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EPOV

Emmett, Jasper, and I were sitting at our table again. It was Tuesday night, the girls dare night. I was hoping I would be able to see Bella tonight. I hadn't been able to get her out of my head since that kiss two weeks ago.

The other girl, Alice, told us all about the dares, Emmett was bouncing in his seat hoping he would be a dare "victim" tonight.

"Emmett, you have got to calm down." Jasper said. Emmett did calm a little, but was still noticeably excited.

I looked over to the girls table. Alice was excited and patting a blonde girl on the back. She must be the dare-girl tonight. Bella is laughing. _She is beautiful when she laughs. _

"Hey Em, they are getting up." I told him.

All three girls are walking over here tonight. _I wonder what the dare is. _The blonde, I can't remember her name, looks embarrassed. And Bella turns pink when she sees me. _I love that color. _Alice just looks amused and excited.

They reach our table and Bella pulls out a camera. She and Alice are standing slightly off to the side while Rose, that's it!, stands in front of Emmett. I look at her. Blue eyes, blonde hair, and tall. She is beautiful, but not my type. Perfect for Emmett, but I prefer chestnut locks, chocolate eyes, and a blush to light up her face. _Oh she's moving._

Rose slowly slides down to one knee looking only at Emmett. Bella is snapping pictures and laughing with Alice. Jasper, Emmett, and I are just confused. She pulls out a RingPop and, slightly blushing, very seriously says, "Will you pretend to marry me?"

_____________________________________________________________

RPOV

_I hate this. I hate this. I look like an idiot. Seriously, could Alice have picked a hotter guy for this. This guy is actually up to my standards, looks-wise. _I was still kneeling, holding the RingPop Bella has been carrying in her purse since we wrote the dares.

I was about to stand up and leave to die of embarrassment when a smile lights up his gorgeous face and laughter booms from his luscious lips as he says, "Of course I will, baby. We can get fake-hitched now."

_What? _Then he takes me in his massive, muscled arms, and stands in the booth, pulling me with him and yells to everyone in the club, "We're getting fake married!"

They cheer.

Bella continues snapping pictures, while Alice used the video app on her phone to record the whole affair. _Documenting my humiliation._ But it wasn't really that bad. I mean, this guy was sweet. He went along with it so easily, I just couldn't be embarrassed about fake-marrying him.

Alice started planning. "Okay, we can do a whole ceremony. We can all be in the 'wedding', Bella, you can be photographer, since you're a genius with a camera."

"Okay, you know there are a few things in the back that Ang kept for me, for this dare." Bella casually mentioned. "Not much, but some fake flowers, a veil, a bible, and fake marriage certificates."

Alice beamed, "Bella, you're a genius!" She ran off to get the stuff.

Edward and Jasper looked amused by the whole thing. I could tell they were getting excited about the randomness of this dare. Edward kept glancing over at Bella. He blushed slightly when he saw that I caught him doing it.

Alice came back and went into full-on crazy Alice mode. She assigned herself and all of the boys jobs in the "wedding". Once everything was arranged she came up to me.

"Come on Rosie, it's time for you to get married." She pulled me outside. After a few minutes of Alice adjusting a veil on my head, Bella poked her head out the door and said, "Okay everything is ready in here."

Alice stood in front of me, and Jasper stood beside me. "Okay Rosalie, I am your Maid-of-Honor. I go first, just wait 30 seconds then come in. Love you. Thanks for letting me plan your fake wedding."

I heard the music start, Alice walks in. We wait the 30 seconds Alice told us to wait.

"You know Emmett is great. Hilarious, sometimes a goof, but you couldn't have picked a greater guy to get fake married to. Except me of course." Jasper said with a smile.

"Well if I can't have you…" I joked. We were laughing as we walked in. The place was transformed. Alice had hung streamers from the ceiling (or had one of the guys do it). All of the club-goers were on either side of the room, all standing and looking at me. And funnily enough all of them were humming the wedding march.

Jasper leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Sorry, Alice wanted it traditional and their was no alternative. Just smile."

He didn't even have to suggest it. It was such an odd thing to hear about 100 people trying to hum the wedding march in tune it took all the will power I had not to burst out laughing.

Bella was Emmett's best man, sort of, because that was the best place to stand and take pictures and record video (she was doing both). Edward was officiating. Alice was smiling and holding her fake-rose, which stood in for her bouquet. And Emmett, he was beaming, laughing at the whole situation.

Jasper and I finally reached them and Edward cleared his throat dramatically.

"Who gives this woman away today?"

Jasper trying to keep a serious face said, "Rosalie, this is very hard. I just can't imagine losing you. You are like my sister. I may have only know you for an hour but it just breaks my heart to give you away to this doof. Oh well." And wiping an imaginary tear away he put my hand in Emmett's and said, "Take care of her, she is my sister." And walked off. _Wow, who would've thought Jasper was that great an actor._ Alice and Bella were cracking up on the sidelines.

Emmett looked at him curiously and said, "But you're my brother."

"Eh hem," Edward said, "Can I continue?" When we nodded he said, "Dearly drunken beloved, we are gathered here tonight because these two lovely young people have decided that they should get fake-married. And I being their extremely sexy fake-minister-" Bella giggled. And Edward smiled glancing over at her. "-have decided to fake-marry them. Do you Emmett Jack McCarty take this woman to be your not-so-lawfully wedded wife?"

I looked at Emmett, and he looked directly into my eyes. His dark blue eyes were deep pools dancing with mirth as he said, "I do"

Edward smiled, "And do you Rosalie Lililililian-" I looked at him. "What I just made your middle name more fun. Anyway, do you Rosalie Lililililian Hale take this doofus to be your not-so-lawfully weeded husband?"

I decided to see if I could make them laugh, "Well…seeing as Jasper won't have me. And I don't know if Father Edward is celibate…I guess I do." Jasper and Alice had to support each other now.

Edward caught his breath and continued, "If anyone has a reason these two should not be fake-wed then speak now or forever hold your peace."

Alice, I suppose, decided she hadn't played a big enough part in this wedding because she yelled, "I object!" She started fake-crying, "You said you would love me and only me Emmett, how could you? You propose to me then marry her?"

Bella then yelled out, "He promised me we had something special too! How dare you Emmett. I am pregnant with your child!" The audience ooohed.

I started laughing._ Man, that took a lot of guts from Bella. _I played along even more. "No, he is all mine! Father Edward, finish pretend-marrying us now!"

Emmett was laughing, "Sorry Bella, Rose will be our child's step-mommy and Alice will be it's weird wanna-be mom. Ladies I am off the market. Rosalie Lililililian Hale is the woman for me. I know this is tragic to you, but I'm sorry."

Edward was laughing so hard he barely choked out the word, "Rings?"

Bella and Alice still playing the 'scorned-girlfriends' chunked the rings on the floor in front of us.

I smiled picked his up and said, "Don't be jealous ladies." and put the ring on his left ring-finger. He put the other ring on my left ring-finger.

Edward straightened up. "With the power vested in me by Alice, I now pronounce you not-husband and not-wife. You may kiss the fake bride."

I surprised everyone but Bella and Alice by dipping Emmett and laying a huge kiss on him as the club erupted in cheers.

* * *

**Hoped ya'll liked it. I felt pretty good about it. I don't know when I will be able to update next, but I will try to make it soon.**

**Spoiler: "Let's play twenty questions."**

**_Hmm who could've said that?_**

**Love ya'll**

**~~~Lyflyn~~~**


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